Shower Scene
To: Bob Clark, Writer

From: Joey Michaels, Writer

RE: Top Secret Porkey's Project

Dear Bob,

I know you don't know me, but I have a proposal for you that is going to rock your socks off. Remember all the money you made in the early 1980's with the Porkey's films? Well, prepare to shovel in the cash again, because I have a genius idea for relaunching the series.

As you know, we last saw Pee Wee, Meat and the boys in 1955. They were still sex crazed baby-boomers. Well, technically, they would have been born around 1937, so they are sort of pre-baby boom. But they were sex crazed, and that is the important thing.

So, I'm asking myself, where are they now?

They were 18 in 1955, so now they would be 68. What did they do with their lives?

I know, I know, nobody wants to see a shower scene with a bunch of geriatric guys trying to peek in on eldery ladies in the shower. This is why my idea is so great.

See, I recall vividly how they all were working on that Shakespeare production in the properly underrated Porkey's II. I believe that they - and this is the genius part - became Hollywood producers and writers. Indeed, the kind of producers and writers that - get this - would have had big hits with nostalgic and completely unrealistic 1950's sex comedies during the 1980's.

Incapable of a normal relationship with a woman, they led lonely, bitter lives since the boom days of the teenage sex comedy ended. Meat is riddled with venereal diseases. Pee Wee lost the ability to have an erection during his days as a writer of teen sex comedies and was never able to get it on with any of the nubile young women who thrw themselves at him on a regular basis. By the time Viagra came out, he was already a Hollywood has-been.

Tragic, right?

Well, at a 50 year reunion, they decide that they are going to have one last go at making a teenage sex comedy, so they decide to make a teenage sex comedy about themselves, in the 1980s, making a teenage sex comedy.

Really, they aren't so much interested in making the movie as they are in tricking a bunch of nubile young women into having sex with them. Old men? Young women? Are you kidding me! This is vogue Hollywood filmmaking for the 21st century! Harrison Ford could play the adult Pee Wee!

Best of all, after they have lots of sex with the women, they are forced to make the movie so they don't get arrested and charged with various crimes against minors or sued by their angry sex partners - kind of like the Producers. The movie becomes an enormous hit and they get to have even more soulless sex with attractive barely legal teens.

Then Pee Wee, who has managed to keep just missing having sex, dies right as he mounts a beautiful young Brittney Spears look a like when he realizes she is really an inflatable doll placed in his bed by his cruelly funny friends. They wheel him out, dead and nude, and his gurney is accidentally released by the ambulence guys.

Even in death, he is streaking against his will.

Damn, I would see this movie!

So can I use your characters to make us a million billion dollars or what?

Yours,

Joey Michaels